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So, it wouldn't be fair to fault you for feeling small in her presence. (Not to mention the unfortunate stigma of "Well, they're family, so I can't say anything that makes them feel uncomfortable even if I feel uncomfortable.") But, if this IS a lifelong trauma, it's good to recognize it, so you can move forward from there. You're strong and living your life in the way that makes you happiest

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I was once engaged to a doctor. Her mom treated me like shit because I was a lowly CPA in her eyes. My fiancé never stood up for one. Made me feel terrible and unworthy. Honestly, your family sounds like a real treat. Your husband deserves better. Either be better or he will leave you.